Spongebob Hero Pants The Game 2015 – PlayStation Vita

The problem this game has is that it’s not fun, at all. It’s a chore. I played it for roughly an hour and within the first minute, I decided that I was returning it. Either the developers weren’t given enough time/money by Activision, or the developers were lazy and drew their inspirations from said games above, but ENTIRELY MISSED THE POINT.

Considering that this is a review for the Vita version, I had played it on my PlayStation TV. That alone shouldn’t impact my decision, it’s more like perhaps it’s not a console game and it truly is a handheld game. Considering that the controls are utterly basic, without any camera controls, the game is surely a 3DS port, or the other way around; either way the Vita version is not worth your consideration. I’d wait to see reviews, LEGITIMATE reviews (ahem, other Vita reviewers), of the Xbox 360 version, for at least that version has 4 player co-op and that might indicate it being an entirely different game and experience. If so, I might just get that one.

The main problem that this game suffers from is throwing everything at the player in the span of a few levels. The thing I noticed is that the enemies are hardly introduced, but for the first one; the “dirty bubble”. The issue here, that was not at all present within the games mentioned above, is that all of the enemies can be dispatched similarly. Just mash the square button. There’s no interesting enemies considering this issue. The way that the game tries to switch it up, is that there are different attack types. There is the typical “Karate Chop” as seen in the other Spongebob games, except that in this one you can mash away without ever fearing being hit. The second attack is a long-range attack. There is a third, useless one, the “overhead stop” or whatever, but the same effect can be achieved, and better, by just using the Karate Chop. The absolute only variety that this game has in regards to combat is the 6 characters (Spongebob, Patrick, Squidward, Mr. Krabs, Sandy, and Plankton) and their superpowers, of which can only be active for so long. That said variety? It’s only within that time-restrained superhero mode, and even then only the long range weapon. Otherwise, the characters are essentially identical other than their appearance in in-game lines (which quickly become nothing but a nuisance). The three world types might as well be identical as well, as with all of the aforementioned enemies. The bosses are a complete joke, too, and not the good kind.

I might understand the appeal for the younger audience, but they shouldn’t have to be subjected to such mediocrity. The Spongebob games of the PS2 era were intelligently designed, charming, funny, challenging, and above all, FUN. These seem to be missing here, for Spongebob and his buddies are just terribly annoying and childish, whereas the older Spongebob games were at the least entertaining in their random lines. This game just has them spouting something about a dream or something nonsensical over and over again when dispatching enemies.

Unless you’re a newcomer to the Spongebob games (ie. haven’t played any PS2 generation Spongebob games), then this is something you’ll want to stay far, far away from. It’s rife with bugs, as it is clearly an unfinished product, made with either too little time, or too little care from the developers. Unless you like mediocrity, then stay away. You’ll have nightmares from Spongebob’s walk cycle of coming at you…